Plot by Mario and Dog Man Fan
[EPISODE BEGINS WITH A BLACK SCREEN BEFORE A GENIE LAMP APPEARS INTO THIN AIR]
Announcer: These lamps may seem insignificant, but these lamps are very rare and nearly impossible to find. But if you are lucky to find one, you may come across mystical and mischievous wish granting entities known as Genies.
[CUTS TO DOGMAN’S HOUSE, WITH DOGMAN IN HIS ATTIC]
Dogman: *Dusting the attic* Ruff Ruff, A-A-ACHOO *Nearly knocks over a Genie Lamp* ROO! *Catches it*
[DOGMAN EXAMINES THE LAMP, REALIZING IT’S A GENIE LAMP]
Dogman: Ruff? *Gets an idea in his head, sits on a chair* Hmm, ruff ruff ruff…
[DOGMAN THEN REALIZES HE CAN MAKE A PROFIT OUT OF IT]
Dogman: *Light bulb appears over head* BARK! *Stands up and breaks the light bulb* RUFF RUFF BARK! *Falls out window* ROOO! *Runs to Okhay Ville’s downtown region*
[CUTS TO THE NEWS TEAM BEING BORED]
Sarah Hatoff: WHY IS THERE NEVER ANY NEWS UNLESS WE ARE IN PERAL!
Chloe: I don’t know to be honest.
Victor: Sorry Charles, I need your wallet.
Sarah Hatoff: Maybe we can report on identity theft?
Victor: *Using Charles credit card info* Down by 14%, people don’t get identities stolen anymore.
Sarah Hatoff: What if we report on the shady practices of online retailers.
Victor: *On Amazon Rainforest BUY!* They don’t do that anymore-WHAT, A FIVE THOUSAND DOLLAR FEE FOR IMPORTATION!
Sarah Hatoff: What about the first Flamethrower being stolen?
Victor: Oh, the one I used Charles credit card to buy from that shady online retail service? It’s right here *Doorbell rings*
Charles: Oh look, I’m 15000 dollars in debt because of this.
Sarah Hatoff: Okay, so what about that Blank Boy who keeps doing random things.
[EVERYONE SLOWLY TURNS THEIR HEADS TO SARAH HATOFF AND SHAKE THEIR HEADS BEFORE THE THREE GROAN IN EXASPERATION]
Victor: I GOT MY FLAMETHROWER, LET’S GO!
[CUTS TO DOGMAN ON THE STREET TRYING TO SELL THE LAMP, BUT PEOPLE KEEP IGNORING HIM]
Dogman: Ruff, BARK!
Nice Guy Chad: Hey you want me to buy the lamp?
Dogman: RUFF RUFF!
Nice Guy Chad: WELL TOO FUGOI BAD!
Dogman: *Sighs and relaxes, howls*
Hobo Johnson: Hey Doggo, come over here.
Dogman: Bark?
Hobo Johnson: You see that lampity lamp, it’s a Genie lamp!
Dogman: Ruff!
Hobo Johnson: Well what are you going to do, stand like a dultz, rub that lamp hard and see what it is!
Dogman: Woof?
Nice Guy Chad: Do it.
Mean Guy Mike: DO IT!
Questionable Guy Ike: Do it?
Dogman: BARK! *Rubs the lamp super hard, spilling out magical dust* Ruff?
[A BIG LIGHTNING BOLT STRIKES HOBO JOHNSON, REVEALING THE GENIE]
Martin the Genie: I HAVE BEEN SUMMONED! I WILL GRANT YOU VARIOUS DIFFERENT WISHES!
[PETEY HEARS IT]
Petey: Uggh, well that was not a nice alarm clock. Wait hold up *Pulls out comedically large binoculars* Hmm, it’s a GENIE!
[CUTS TO MT A.R.F.G.U.S]
Mason Yale: What did that guy say?
Mayor: Well go investigate it. But wear this hat and pair of sunglasses to conceal your identity.
Mason Yale: Fine I will investigate it.
[CUTS TO CHIEF IN HIS OFFICE]
Chief: Oh hey, someone really likes hot tea. Nothing new.
[CUTS TO THE NEWS TEAM]
Chloe: What was that?
Victor: Nothing of note, this flamethrower however, that’s something badass!
Petey: Okay, I got the perfect gadget for this! MY RETRATABLE HAND!
[PETEY USES IT BY STRETCHING IT OUT TOWARDS THE GENIE LAMP]
Martin the Genie: WELL WHAT’S YOUR FIRST WISH GOING TO BE, JUST BARKING-
Petey: Yoink. *Steal the lamp from Dogman’s hands*
Mason Yale: Holy cow, it’s a Genie, and Petey took it! Talk about a double feature of threats.
Petey: Oh ho ho, YES I GOT THE LAMP, NOW I HAVE UNLIMITED POWER! I don’t need this hand anymore *Throws it out of the window*
[CUTS TO THE NEWS TEAM BEING BORED]
Victor: *Eating Gum* Gnaw, Gnaw, Gnaw, Gnaw, Gnaw.
Chloe: Can you knock it off-*Gets knocked in the head by the retractable hand*
Charles: WHAT THE HECK!
Sarah Hatoff: Is that one of those arm toys you could find at the store?
Chloe: I think so.
Sarah Hatoff: *Thinking of an idea* I have a good idea!
[CUTS TO MASON YALE GOING TO THE MAYOR’S OFFICE]
Mason Yale: MAYOR, MAYOR!
Mayor: What?
Mason Yale: It’s a Genie!
Mayor: You mean the wish granting kind?
Mason Yale: YES!
Mayor: Who has custody over it?
Mason Yale: Sadly Petey.
Mayor: Crud, well we need to get to him before he grants a wish to eradicate all of humanity or make himself a literal god. Especially if he tries to become Mayor forever while the Genie pulls the strings. Now, I also need to get rid of these large boxes of Kidney Stones from the T-Rex’s trip to Super Nintendo world. SO I WANT CAPTAIN REXX AND HIS BOY BANDS OF REX’S TO GO TO PETEY’S LAB, AND BEAT HIM TO A PULP AND GIVE ME THE LAMP TO SEND THOSE SHUDDY KIDNEY STONES TO LIOPANA!
Mason Yale: Liopana doesn’t even exist-
Mayor: I DON’T CARE. Send the Rex’s out NOW!
[CUTS TO CAPTAIN REXX AND THE T-REX CORPS FLYING TOWARDS TO LAB]
Captain Rexx: Now where is this lab?
T-Rex Soldier: It’s right behind you.
Captain Rexx: Oh my bad, now let’s inspect it to find the lamp!
[CUTS TO PETEY UPSTAIRS IN HIS BEDROOM WITH THE LAMP]
Petey: OH MY GOSH, IT’S ACTUALLY A GENIE IN A LAMP!
Martin the Genie: What do you want from me?
Petey: TO MAKE MY THREE WISHES!
Martin the Genie: But you have to listen to the rules first! Rule 1. Don’t mess with cats, Rule 2. Don’t talk about Fight Club, Rule 3. Talk about Fight Club.
[PETEY HEARS THE T-REX’S INSPECTING HIS ROOM DOWNSTAIRS, GETTING PARANOID]
Petey: *Sigh* Okay, are you going to hurry up or just list stupid rules.
Martin the Genie: There are 700+ I have to list.
Petey: Okay, my first wish is to get rid of the rules.
Martin the Genie: Let me check the handbook *Reads through it* huh, nothing about erasing the rules. Well your wish is my command!
Petey: YES!
Martin the Genie: Oh nevermind, it says the wishmaker erasing the rules erases it for anybody BUT himself.
Petey: Darnit.
[CAPTAIN REXX BREAKS THE DOOR DOWN]
Captain Rexx: HERE’S JOHNNY!
T-Rex Soldier: I thought your name was Christopher?
Captain Rexx: No one asked you.
Petey: CRAP! *Petey runs through his hallway* I need to make another wish, Djinni!
Martin the Genie: It’s Martin, tired of those stereotypes.
Petey: Sorry, but grant me the wish for ALL T-REX SOLDIERS TO NOT BE IN MY HOUSE!
Martin the Genie: Okay, your wish is my command!
[ALL THE T-REX’S ARE TELAPORTED AWAY]
Petey: Hehe-AHHH *Petey fails to slow down, crashing through the Bathroom window*
[PETEY NOTICES ALL THE T-REXS ARE OUTSIDE. READY TO CATCH HIM]
Petey: No you didn’t.
Martin the Genie: Oh yes I did!
[PETEY LANDS FLAT ON HIS FACE]
T-Rex Solder: Well, seems like he is unconscious.
Captain Rexx: Then let’s return the lamp to the Mayor.
[CUTS TO SARAH HATOFF PRESENTING THE IDEA]
Sarah Hatoff: Alright, here is the plan: You know the Blank Slate.
Victor: Sadly.
Sarah Hatoff: Well he only appears when chaos happens, is about to happen, or after chaos happens.
Charles: But chaos happening is just a regular day.
Sarah Hatoff: THAT’S NOT THE POINT! The point is we are going to need Victor to cause chaos.
Chloe: So you are going to make him commit a crime-
Victor: I’m listening.
Sarah Hatoff: While Victor causes chaos, Charles will be in the news van, holding this retractable hand. He will use it to catch Blank Slate, not allowing him to escape. Then me and Chloe will reveal him to the public!
Victor: Let me be honest, this will not work. I know this guy is too hard to stop.
Sarah Hatoff: You can use your flamethrower-
Victor: DEAL!
[CUTS TO THE T-REX CORPS WALKING INTO MT A.R.F.G.U.S. WITH DARK AND OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYING]
Mason Yale: *Turns around it chair, turns on lamp* Ya got the lamp?
Captain Rexx: *Pulls out genie lamp* Yes I do, do you have the money?
[RECORD SCRATCH]
Mason Yale: What are you talking about?
Captain Rexx: Well I thought this was a Mafia movie parody you know.
Mason Yale: Ugh, whatever. Let me rub the lamp and see if there is a Genie *Rubs lamp, leading to the genie reappearing*
Martin the Genie: Okay what do you want-Oh hey look, it’s a new guy. What are your three wishes or whatever.
Mason Yale: I wish for world pe-
Captain Rexx: FOR ALL THE SODA AND WATER IN THE WORLD TO BE SWAPPED.
Martin the Genie: Your dead serious, well fine I will grant the wish at your command. *Snaps fingers, replacing all soda*
Mason Yale: Why would you do that, anywho I wish for all the soda and water-
[CHIEF AND DOGMAN BUST THROUGH THE DOOR]
Chief: Get the lamp Dogman… Get the lamp.
Dogman: ROOOO!!
Chief: You never obey my orders despite me being nice, so go pick up the lamp!
[DOGMAN RUSHES TO TAKE THE LAMP]
Mason Yale: Hey, YOU TOOK THE LAMP!
Mayor: Who took the lamp?
Mason Yale: THAT DOG AND CHIEF!
Mayor: THEN GET HIM YOU DUMB FU-
Chief: HeHe! I GOT THE LAMP *rubs the lamp*
Petey: Hello, thanks for the lamp.
Dogman: BARK BARK! *Gets tackled by a T-Rex solider*
Petey: HEHE!
[MAYOR CONTINUES TO RUN SUPER FAST TO CATCH THE LAMP, BEFORE TAKING A BREAK TO CATCH HER BREATH]
Petey: *In an alleyway* Alright, let’s get my last wish!
Martin the Genie: Oh great, you again.
Petey: You bet yourself!
Martin the Genie: What’s the wish?
Petey: Hmm *Thinks to himself, lightbulb pops up once he gets an idea* Oh-*Jumps with glee before he breaks the lightbulb* AAAAAHHHH! WHAT THE HECK.
Martin the Genie: So what is the wish?
Petey: That you had Dementia!
Martin the Genie: Well your wish is my command!
Petey: Hehe.
Martin the Genie: I am a Genie and you get three wishes!
Petey: Alright, I wish for UNSTOPABLE POWER!
Martin the Genie: Your wish is my command!
[NOTHING HAPPENS]
Petey: So? Where are my powers?
Martin the Genie: Well, there is the side effect that the powers can only be accessed when you go to the country of-I am a Genie and you get three wishes.
Petey: *Sighs* This is going to be a long LONG day.
[CUTS TO VICTOR BURSTING OUTSIDE OF THE TOWN]
Victor: IT’S TIME TO USE THIS BAD BOY-Oh wait.
[CUTS TO THE CITY IN WRECK]
Citizen 1: OH MY GOD! THERE IS SO MUCH FIRE.
Citizen 2: I NEED WATER, FOR ME AND MY FAMILY!
Citizen 3: I ONLY HAVE SODA!
Victor: Come on! I didn’t even get to burn something-*gets an idea* or someONE-*Points his finger at the lightbulb in the sky, breaking it* AGH! WHO KEEPS MAKING THESE!
[CUTS TO VICTOR BRINING CHLOE OUTSIDE]
Chloe: Let me go! LET ME GO!
Victor: I have had enough of your whining *Pulls out flamethrower*
Chloe: Oh no.
Victor: HOW DO YOU LIKE THIS YOU INFERNAL SON OF A GUN, NAHAHAHAHA, NAHAHAHA!
[VICTOR BURNS CHLOE TO A CRISP IN ANGER]
Victor: ALRIGHT, I’M GOING TO BURN MORE THINGS!
[CUTS TO VICTOR BURNING A BUILDING DOWN]
Victor: HAHAHA!
Hobo Johnson: Hey there kid.
Victor: What do you want?
Hobo Johnson: Did you know anything in this economy can be currency?
Victor: What?
Hobo Johnson: Yep, and in exchange for that flamethrower, I will give you five tennis balls.
Victor: I have nothing to lose so why not.
[VICTOR GETS THE TENNIS BALLS]
Hobo Johnson: Oh and by the way, tennis balls are so valuable you can get killed because of them.
Victor: Yeah right.
[A MAN SEES VICTOR WITH TENNIS BALLS]
Random Citizen: HEY EVERYONE, VICTOR HAS BALLS.
Group of citizens: WHAT! WE DON’T HAVE BALLS.
Random Citizen: THEN LET’S TAKE VICTOR’S BALLS AND PLAY WITH THEM!
[VICTOR NOTICES A MOB OF PEOPLE CHASING HIM]
Victor: Oh lord.
[CUTS TO PETEY IN AN ALLEYWAY WITH THE GENIE]
Martin the Genie: I am a Genie and you get three wishes, I am a Genie and you get three wishes, I am a Genie and you get three wishes, I am-
Petey: SHUT UP-*The Blank Slate appears and teleports the lamp to Downtown Okhay Ville* Guess I got my wish.
Chief: *In the distance* Did you see that? THE LAMP IS IN DOWNTOWN.
Dogman: Bark? *Clearly not caring about the lamp*
Chief: *Holding Dogman by the neck* LETS GO GET IT!
[CAPTAIN REXX NOTICES THE LAMP IN THE DISTANCE]
Captain Rexx: Hmm, looks like the lamp is on the other side of Downtown Okhay Ville. I might as well go get it.
[PETEY NOTICES CAPTAIN REXX FLYING]
Petey: Might as well follow the doff.
[THE FOUR END UP NEAR THE LAMP AND PLAY A GAME OF TUG A WAR]
Chief: IT’S MY LAMP!
Petey: NO IT’S MINE!
CAPTAIN REXX: NO IT’S MINE!
[HOBO JOHNSON WALKS IN AND BURNS THE FOUR WITH HIS FLAMETHROWER, CAUSING THE LAMP TO GO UP IN FLAMES AND GO INTO THE AIR AND LAND INTO VICTOR’S HANDS, WHO IS IN AN ALLEYWAY]
Victor: Alright a genie lamp! Let me rub it and see what I can wish for!
Martin the Genie: I AM A GENIE AND YOU GET THREE WISHES!
Victor: I wish for no side effects on the wishes!
Martin the Genie: YOUR WISH IS MY COMMAND!
Victor: Good, now I wish the Blank Slate would be caught.
[THE GENIE GRANTS THE WISH, CHARLES IS ABLE TO CATCH BLANK SLATE]
Sarah Hatoff: WE DID IT, GRAB THE CAMERA CHARLES!
[SARAH HATOFF ON LIVE TV]
Sarah Hatoff: This is Sarah Hatoff, reporting live from the less than stealer town square, we have caught the long rumoured “Blank Slate” and will reveal him to the public! So Blank Slate how has your-and he is gone.
Charles: Forget the Blank Slate, WHY IS ALL THIS CHAOS HAPPENING!
[CHARLES NOTICES VICTOR FOOLING AROUND WITH A GENIE LAMP]
Charles: Oh so Victor is the one behind it all.
Victor: And for my final wish, I wish-
Charles: MOVE! Hey there Genie I have an important wish.
Martin the Genie: I AM A GENIE AND YOU GET THREE WISHES.
Charles: I WISH ALL THE WISHES YOU HAVE GRANTED NEVER CAME TRUE AND THE WHOLE DAY JUST NEVER HAPPENED!
Martin the Genie: YOUR WISH IS MY COMMAND!
[THE GENIE SNAPS HIS FINGERS, CAUSING THE WHOLE DAY TO RESET, WITH DOGMAN CLEANING HIS ATTIC AGAIN]
Dogman: Ruff? *Notices the lamp before remember the events, snarls before throwing it into a trash can*
[END OF EPISODE]
[START OF POST CREDIT SCENE]
Robber 1: Come on Ron, have you gotten anything good from the trash can?
Robber 2: I haven’t yet, but I will soon!
[THEY FIND THE GENIE LAMP]
Robber 2: What do I do with it?
Robber 1: RUB IT YOU BOZO!
Robber 2: Fine, I will rub it.
[THEY RUB THE LAMP]
Martin the Genie: I AM A GENIE AND YOU GET THREE WISHES!
Robber 1: Well I wish for a-
Martin the Genie: I AM A GENIE AND YOU GET THREE WISHES!
Robber 2: Okay, well I wish for-
Martin the Genie: I AM A GENIE AND YOU GET THREE WISHES!
Robber 1: No wonder why this was in the garbage.
[THE TWO THROW THE LAMP BACK IN THE GARBAGE]
[END OF POST CREDIT SCENE]
[END OF EPISODE]