Petey: AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!
[PETEY ENDS UP LANDING IN A WEIRD POST APOCOLITIC TIMELINE]
Petey: This place looks like Zack Snyder's justice league, if it had more colour and if it wasn't four hours long. What even happened here?
Future guy: GET DOWN!
Petey: WHAT! *ducks to the ground with Future guy*
Future guy: Wait, you don’t look like Petey?
Petey: I do look like him, I AM HIM!
Future guy: Where is the visor, or control pad, or backpack.
Petey: Explain to me WHAT IS GOING ON!
Future guy: Well this fish named Flippy decided to get this orb and used his psychokinetic powers to conquer the world!!! Everyone died, but you must be our saviour!
Petey: So? Also how is Flippy alive?
Future guy: He has always been alive. What do you mean?
Petey: Nevermind, how do I defeat him?
Future guy: *pulls out a sniper* SNIOPER!
Petey: Okay, so do I just aim it at his head?
Future guy: YES THEN HE DIES!!!
Petey: Okay.
[FLIPPY WITH THE POWERS OF THE ORB FLIES BY]
Flippy: Hmm lets see if there are any pesky resistance members here!
Future guy: NOW!
Petey: KA CHING! *Sniper bullet flies, shoots Flippy in the head*
Flippy: Uh *falls down, laying dead on the floor*
Future guy: Y-you did it sir!
Petey: I did it?
Mason Yale (future): He did it guys!
Chief (future): He did it.
Petey: OH I DID IT THANK YOU EVERYONE FOR BEING HERE AT THIS MOMENT, NOW WHAT IS MY REWARD?
Future guy: NOTHING!
Petey: Hehe, what?
Future guy: Yep, nothing, nada, zilch, nope on a rope!
Petey: Now if you excuse I will take this Orb from Flippy’s coat and-*PETEY ASCENDS, EYES TURN PURPLE, CROWN ON HIS HEAD* OH MY GOD THAT SENSATION.
Mason Yale (future): Guess we are under new management, see you!
Future guy: Come on we just got out of an apocalypse!
Petey: WELL PREPARE TO D-*Vanishes out of thin air*
Future guy: Well now lets start rebuilding society!
[PETEY GETS SENT BACK TO THE MODERN DAY AND ENDS UP FALLING THROUGH THE CAT JAIL ROOF]
Petey: AAAAAAAHHHHH!!!
[LANDS ON BED]
Petey: Yeesh my back!
Big Jim: HIYA PE-
Petey: Not right now Big Jim, look what I got!
Big Jim: OOOH A BALL!
Petey: IT’S CALLED AN ORB YOU CUNNING RUNT!
Big Jim: Oh.
Petey: Now I know what I will do with it! I will use the powers to put Dog”man” through a series of random inventions and games until he can’t take it anymore and dies!
Big Jim: What?
Petey: *sighs* Orb + Dogman + Games + Torture = Death!
Big Jim: OH I GOT IT!
Petey: *levitating out of Cat Jail*
[CUTS TO DOGMAN, CHIEF, SARAH, AND VICTOR OUTSIDE]
Victor: You know today is a bit too slow, NO NEWS
Sarah Hatoff: You just got to look out for the news, it could be on that massive pimple.
Victor: I don’t have one!
Chief: You sure?
Victor Yes I-
Dogman: BARK BARK *Growls*
Mason Yale: *licking ice cream* WAIT WHATS THAT, NOOOOOOOOOO!!!! *Gets sucked up by purple portal*
Petey: HEAR YE HEAR YE PETEY IS HEAR YE, I AM GOING TO SEND YE THROUGH THIS PORTAL YE!
Chief: What the-HEEEECCCKK *gets sucked through portal*
Victor: Oh *pushes Sarah through the portal*
Sarah Hatoff: WHY DID YOU DO THAT!
Victor: What I like funny TTTTTTHHHHIIINNNGS *gets sucked through portal*
Dogman: *Howls as he gets sucked in*
Petey: AAANNND SCENE! *Snaps fingers, cuts to black*
[TITLE CARD FOR PETEY’S SHOW CALLED THE PETEY SHOW POPS UP]
Petey: Welcome to The Petey Show! My name is Petey (No duh), I am your host. I am here to show you the most heart attacking, dirtiest, MIND ALTERNING SHOW YOU HAVE EVER SEEN! Isn’t that right Big Jim?
Big Jim: Wha?
Petey: ANYWAY LETS GET RIGHT INTO THE SHOW.
Show Tune Robots: Petey, and Chief, and Mason too! Sarah and Vic, and there’s Dogman! Many funny things will happen, you won’t be tortured-tortured-tortured-tortured-tortured-torted.
Petey: I CAN’T STOP IT, HELP ME BIG JIM!
Big Jim: *smacks music player* Okay!
Singer: Tortured, Please trust me bro! From start and then to the end you will have FUN!
Mason Yale: Okay what’s going on?
Petey: Well I got L'Orbe du Psychokinétique. I am going to put you through multiple tests for my inventions! Now who would like to take the first test?
Victor: PICK ME PICK ME PICK MEEEE!!
Dogman: Ruff! RUFF!
Petey: Lets do VICTOR!
Victor: *Whispers into Petey’s ear*
Petey: OKAY LETS DO IT!
[CUTS TO DOGMAN ON A TRUCK WITH EVERYONE EXCEPT VICTOR]
Dogman: Bark?
Chief: We are driving this truck in an endless jungle? That’s it?
Dogman: *Sticks tongue out* RUFF RUFF!
Mason Yale: Hey if the Dog is having fun it must be good
!Dogman: BARK BARK!! *Licks Mason Yale*
Mason Yale: DON’T LICK MY GLASSES!
Dogman: *Whimpers*
Sarah Hatoff: Oh please, that should be the least of your conCERNS! *gets dragged out of truck*
Dogman: BARK BARK!
Mason Yale: STEP ON THE GAS CHIEF!
[CHIEF MAKES THE TRUCK GO SO FAST, YET IT CRASHES INTO A TREE]
Dogman: RUFF RUFF (pointing out the guy in an evil armoured suit)
Mason Yale: Don’t worry I have this two tone Walther P99!!!!!! (gets the gun’s front cut off) WHAT DO WE DO!!!!
Dogman: *does a backflip* RUFF!
[MYSTERIOUS GUY POPS OUT OF BUSHES IN MECH SUIT, DOGMAN KICKS AND PUNCHES HIM, BUT GETS HEADBUTTED, LETTING HIM CRASH INTO A TREE]
Mason Yale: Psh, I have a yellow belt in karate!
[MYSTERIOUS GUY POPS UP AND INSTANTLY MAULS MASON YALE]
Mason Yale: HEEEEEEEELLPPP!!
Dogman: RUFF BARK *Growls*
Mason Yale: GET TO THE CHOPPA!
Chief: Run!
Dogman: BARK BARK!
[CHIEF AND DOGMAN START RUNNING FROM THE STRANGER]
Dogman: *gets a grappling hook stuck on his back, howls!*
Chief: DOGMAN! *pulls out a stick* not today bub! HA! *the stick breaks on impact*
Mysterious guy: Oh Chief, you are going *incomprehensible sounds*
Chief: I’m sorry what?
Mysterious guy: *Takes off mask, revealing it’s Victor* You are going to lose!
Chief: Victor what are y- *gets stabbed by wrist knife*
Victor: OH YEAH I WIN!
Petey: So how was that!
Victor: IT WAS THE-
Dogman, Sarah Hatoff, Mason Yale, Chief: WORST INVENTION EVER!
Petey: Well guess it’s time to end it!
Mason Yale: NUH UH!
Petey: WHAT DO YOU MEAN NUH UH EVERYONE HATES THESE!
Mason Yale: NOPE, MY PROBABILITIES SAY THERE IS A 77% CHANCE WE WILL WIN ANOTHER ONE AND DEFEAT THE NEXT INVENTION!
Petey: Hmm this means WE CAN HAVE ANOTHER ONE!
Dogman: *Growls*
Petey: LETS DO IT!
[CUTS TO AN ICE CREAM UTOPIA]
Dogman: Ruff? BARK BARK!
[HE RUNS AROUND IN JOY]
Mason Yale: HeHe, this is just a hallucination with- Excuse what is this product called?
Petey: Gassy Behemoth Gas, or just hallucinagas for short.
Mason Yale: *almost laughs* Gassy Behemoth, really!
Petey: Yeah, made by Scum Co.
Mason Yale: Okay, lets try it out!
Chief: HE HE! Wait, why is Sarah now a blob of jello?
Sarah Hatoff: HELP ME!!!
Chief: WHAT DO WE DO!!
Dogman: BARK BARK BARK!!!
Chief: What do you mean?
Dogman: Bark!
Victor: He means a giant rock is going to crush you.
Chief: AAAAAAAAHHHH!!! *gets crushed by a rock, with words in Pig Latin*
Victor: WAIT THE ROCK SAYS SOMETHING?
Dogman: Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff?
Victor: Oh hey look your nose can be used as a button to translate the pig latin.
Dogman: *nose gets clicked* The FitnessGram Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal bodeboop. A sing lap should be completed every time you hear this sound. ding Remember to run in a straight line and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark. Get ready!… Start. Ding
Victor: OH NO!!! I’M DROWNING!!!!!
[CUTS TO THEM GOING INSANE IN A BLANK ROOM]
Mason Yale: This could be used for truly evil stuff.
Petey: Then drain it!
Mason Yale: Oh yeah I forgot.
[MASON YALE DRAINS THE GAS, EVERYONE REVERTS BACK TO NORMAL]
Dogman, Chief, and Sarah Hatoff: AHHHHAHAHAHAHAHHA! Oh we are fine (Dogman Barks instead of saying the words)?
Victor: NOOOOOOOO NOOOOO NOOOOO NOOOO NOOO!! MOM DON’T DEAL WITH THEM AGAIN, NO!!!!!
Sarah Hatoff: What are you talking about?
Victor: Nothing.
Petey: Well what did you think?
Dogman: BARK!!!!
Chief: Horrible!
Sarah Hatoff: WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU!
Victor: If you do that again, I will get Mason Yale, strangle him and throw him into my fireplace.
Petey: Well we can end it n-
Mason Yale: NOPE NOPE NOPE! LET’S DO ANOTHER!!!! WE CAN’T GIVE UP, MY PROBABILITIES SAY WE HAVE A 50% CHANCE AT WINNING THE NEXT ONE!
Dog Man: Ruff.
Chief: Yeah what Dogman said, stop.
Mason Yale: Nope we got to use another invention, right Show Tune Robots?
Show Tune Robots 1,2,3, and 4: YES SIR!
Petey: Well the common vote has spoken, LETS DO ANOTHER ONE!!!!
[CUTS TO THE CREW AROUND A CAMP FIRE]
Petey: Well the invention is not working right now, so just wait around this campfire until it comes!
Chief: Well we can tell our life stories if we want, to know something about us!
Sarah Hatoff: I’ll start, I was just a simple girl from Australia. Part of a typical blue collar family but I had one dream!
Victor: What was it, to be the most obsessive person of all time?
Sarah Hatoff: No, I wanted to be a reporter and had this little My Little Pony journal, like you Victor!
Victor: Wa-Wa- What do you mean?
Mason Yale: Oh she means nothing, you see ever since I was a baby I was super smart. I came up with my own name and took an IQ test at 15, I was considered the smartest person in Okhay Ville. So that’s why I’m second in command at A.R.F.G.U.S.
Chief: So is the Mayor smarter than you.
Mason Yale: No, she has an iq of 79!
Victor: *Jaw drops* WHAT?
Mason Yale: I’m not joking.
Victor: Okay who’s next.
Chief: Well I always wanted to join the NFL when I was little, yet I was never a good enough player. Yet I was known for my commanding personality, so I became a cop. I have tons of stories but let's leave it here.
Victor: OH LIKE THE TIME OFFICER KNIGHT KI-
[CHIEF LOOKS EMBRASSED AND ALMOST ABOUT TO CRY]
Sarah Hatoff: You know that makes Chief sad! Why would you bring that up?
Mason Yale: What are you talking about?
[SARAH HATOFF WHISPERS IT INTO MASON’S EAR]
Mason Yale: VICTOR WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT!!!
Sarah Hatoff: We need a punishment for him.
Chief: Let’s get rid of his jacket and dye his hair purple.
Big Jim: GOOD IDEA *proceeds to remove his jacket and dies Victor’s hair purple*
Victor: WHAT THE HECK MAN, I WAS JUST JOKING, NOW I LOOK CRAPPY!
Dogman: *snickers*
Sarah Hatoff: Honestly, maybe Victor has something sad. We barely know anything about you, can you please tell us your life story?
Victor: Fine fine, you see it happened when I was the pet to this human named Chief King and I was Vic the Cat! So it all happened at the stadium one day-
Sarah Hatoff: Ignore him Dogman, he is just making bs up.
Dogman: Ruff?
Sarah Hatoff: I was just kidding, Victor has told me a lot. Especially about his “lack of friends” and “fractured childh-”
Victor: And what are you talking about?
Sarah Hatoff: Nothing.
Victor: Good!
Dogman: BARK BARK *Growls*
Chief: What is IT!!! *all members get attacked by the robo-bear*
Petey: Well Big Jim, what should we do now!
Big Jim: A lightning round!
Petey: GOOD IDEA!!!
[CUTS TO PETEY IN A ROOM WITH ALL OF THE MEMBERS]
Petey: It’s time for the lightning round
[A MONTAGE OF THE CAST DOING TESTS FOR MULTIPLE INVENTIONS]
Show Tune Robots 2,3,4: *in unison* DO WA SHO WA SHOWP A DOUP A DOUP LOOP A BROP!
Show Tune Robot 1: You guys are going through multiple games!
Show Tune Robots 2,3,4: *in unison* You are going through multiple games!
Show Tune Robots 1: Now lets see how many you will DDDDDDDOOOOOO!
Show Tune Robots 1,2,3,4: *in unison* YOU HAVE DONE 1,2,3,4, and 5, and that’s just the tip of the iceberg. SO NOW CONTINUE TO DO THIS LIGHTING ROUND, AND HAVE SOME MORE FUN OR ROLL OUT LIKE A BUN!
Show Tune Robot 1: Time for the producer freestyle!
[UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYS IN THE BACKGROUND]
Petey: Last invention!
Dogman: *Whimpers, and gets hit in the head with a pariahna*
Chief: Oh no! *gets hit in the head with a shovel*
Victor: HeHe! *gets hit by pariahna* AAAAAHHH!!!
Sarah Hatoff: HA HA! *gets hit by shovel*
Mason Yale: I’m out!
Show Tune Robots 1,2,3,4: NOW IT’S - (get burned in molten lava) AAAAAAHHHH!!!!
Petey: Okay now what?
Mason Yale: ONE MORE INVENTION ONE MORE INVENTION ONE MORE INVENTION!
Petey: Fine, I’ll give Chief admin powers.
Dogman: BARK BARK BARK!!!!
Chief: What could possibly go wrong.
[TEN MINUTES LATER]
Chief: Crap I shouldn’t have given Sarah a baseball bat!
Sarah Hatoff: Hello there Victor, time to die!
Dogman: *Growls and bites the bat* BARK!
Sarah Hatoff: GET OFF THE BASEBALL BAT!!!
Victor: Thank you, now if you excuse me *pulls out a long sword* time to end you!
[VICTOR STARTS STABBING SARAH HATOFF]
Mason Yale: MORE INVENTIONS MORE INVENTIONS PLEASE!!! I NEED TO WIN!!!
Petey: FINE! I WILL ADD ANOTHER CHALLENGE!
Victor: And this is what you get for firing-
Petey: Hey everyone, first up Chief. No more admin powers!
Chief: *losing admin powers* Nooooo!
Petey: And secondly *eyes glow purple while charging up a psychokinetic ball* DON’T DIE!!!
Dogman: *Growls* BARK BARK *dodges ball*
Chief: We need to find a way to defeat him!
Mason Yale: Don’t worry I have an idea to win!
Victor: Okay show us?
Mason Yale: Fine I will.
Announcer: THE FOLLOWING ACTION SCENE IS TOO EXPENSIVE TO ANIMATED, SO WE WILL PRESENT IT IN FLIP O RAMA!
Announcer: PUNCH THE CAT! *Mason Yale punches cat*
Announcer: SLAP THAT YALE! *Petey slaps Mason Yale*
Announcer: REMEMBER KIDS, THAT’S WHY YOU DON’T ATTACK A PHYSCOKINETIC CAT!
Mason Yale: *bruised and damaged, wheezing* Well, that didn’t go as planned.
Dogman: BARK BARK! *as he notices the orb *
Victor: Why is the dog pointing at the cat’s hairy back?
Chief: it may be his weak spot!
Sarah Hatoff: But if we just go for it, we will - (gets hit by ball* That will happen.
Victor: Don’t worry, I can attack Petey.
Petey: Hehe, Oh Big Jim. This is fun!
Big Jim: I agrreeeeee! *as Victor jumps on Big Jim and tries to stab Petey with the sword*
Victor: PETEY I HAVE COME TO - *gets head blown off by Petey*
Dogman: RUFF RUFF *Whimpers*
Sarah Hatoff: Oh no, they killed Victor!
Victor: SIKE! *punches Petey, who has the orb knocked out of him*
Petey: How, I thought I killed you!
Victor: The source is that I am in peak human condition!
*breaks orb with sword*
Petey: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
[THE CREW TELAPORT BACK TO OKHAY VILLE]
Victor: *back to normal* Cool, I actually look good again!
Dogman: WOOF!
Chief: And now it’s your turn for a game!
Petey: Rats.
Mason Yale: Well my probabilities were a bit off, but after that I need some time to relax: SO I’M GOING TO FILL A.R.F.G.U.S’S TAX DOCUMENTS!
Sarah Hatoff: Have a good time Mason! Hey Chief, you want to eat Ice Cream?
Chief: Sure, Dogman can you go back to the police station?
Dogman: RUFF!
[DOGMAN WALKS BACK TO THE POLICE STATION, BUT NOTICES VICTOR LOOKING DOWN, DOGMAN GOES UP TO HIM]
Dogman: Ruff?
Victor: What do you want doggo?
Dogman: BARK BARK!
Victor: Oh it’s nothing, just a bit tired after all those inventions.
Dogman: Bark?
Victor: Oh, the stuff Sarah was talking about. It was just something stupid.
[VICTOR WALKS AWAY, MUCH TO DOGMAN’S CONFUSION]
Dogman: Ruff!
[AS DOGMAN APPROACHES THE POLICE STATION, A MYSTERIOUS FIGURE WITH NO FEATURE, JUST A WHITE BLANK SLATE IS WATCHING DOGMAN, STARING AT HIM]
[CUTS TO CREDITS]
[START OF POST CREDIT SCENE]
Mason Yale: Mayor, we have a problem.
Mayor: What is it?
Mason Yale: Well we have to pay all our members, do some safety checks, and repair the damages of Petey’s psychokinetic breakdown so that will cost 17.9 million.
Mayor: I can’t afford it, we need a loan!
Mason Yale: Well, if we take one from the bank. Our city will never recover.
Mayor: SO NOW WHAT???
Mason Yale: Well we can get a loan from Elon Musk, Donald Trump, Joe Biden, Vladimir Putin, John Cena, The Rock, Ryan Renolds, Dav Pilkey, James Gunn, Jim Davis, Adam Sandler, Chris Pratt.
[TEN MINUTES LATER]
Mason Yale: MARIO, LUIGI, GANDOLF, MONTY PYTHON, EVERY SINGLE POWER RANGER, GARFIELD, CAINE, THE GREAT GAZOO, SUPERMAN, LEX LUTHOR, THAT ONE STICK FIGURE GUY ON THE WARNING SIGNS, PETEY HIMSELF, FLIPPY AS HE PROBABLY HAS A FORTUNE IN HIS WILL, SONIC, PEPPINO, DYNAMITE ANTON!
T-Rex: Is something wrong with him?
Mayor: I think so.
Mason Yale: STEVE, OPTIMUS PRIME, REVIEWER-VISION!
[END OF POST CREDIT SCENE]
[END OF EPISODE]