Dog Man Wiki

[CUTS TO PETEY IN HIS LAB]

Petey: Okay Petey, you better not screw this up. Once you put this power core in, you will invent time travel!!

[SOMEONE SLAMS THE DOOR OF THE LAB OPEN, STARTLING PETEY AND CAUSING HIM TO DROP THE POWER CORE]

Petey: Who are you and what do you want?

Butler: Is the Butler job still open?

Petey: Yeah, so?

Butler: I want the job.

Petey: Sure let’s have an interview!!!!

[PETEY AND BUTLER ARE NOW IN AN INTERVIEW ROOM]

Petey: So what do you think of my inventions?

Butler: Uhh, what does this have to-

Petey: HAHAHA THAT’S FUNNY! Now answer the question.

Butler: Well I can’t get a job anywhere else, I have to take care of my elderly parents and young kids. You don’t even seem to be interested in why I want the job!

Petey: Hey look at this video I found on my phone.

[SHOW HER THE VIDEO OF DOGMAN IN A HEAVILY EDITED MLG STYLED VIDEO]

Petey: Hehe Dogman got swag.

Butler: *Face palm* Really?

[CUTS TO DOGMAN IN THE BREAK ROOM, NOTICING A PIZZA]

Dogman: Bark, Bark *Eats the pizza, feels sick because the pizza is expired*

Dogman: Rooooo! *Goes to Chief’s office, and is behind his chair*

Chief: And I’m back from lunch! Time to sit on my chair for an afternoon of doing nothing!

Dogman: *Vomits on chair* Rooo!!!

Chief: Whatever *sits on vomit* DOGMAN, DON’T DO THAT AGAIN!!

Dogman: *Sighs, howls and then leaves, throwing up more*

[CUTS BACK TO PETEY AND BUTLER ARGUING]

Petey: I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again, all people I have killed like Officer Knight and Flippy are one hundred percent indirect, LIKE ANY GOOD VILLAIN!

Butler: You seem like a sociopath, you just want validation?

Petey: NO I DON’T, THEN WHY ARE YOU HERE IF YOU THINK THAT!!!

Butler: I told you my reason, but not listening seems to be a problem with you.

Petey: I want you desperately. I'll give you this old gameguy, this sunfaded copy of The Blue Skittle, a mini pickers bar!!! PLEASE JOIN!!!

Butler: Your inventions suck, you never test them out and they always have one fault that would be avoidable if you just worked on it for a bit longer instead of boosting your ego by putting others down.

Petey: Tisk tisk tisk, you see inventions are the things that keep me going!!! It’s all I have been doing for my whole life, it’s all I have had since I was 15. If what you say is true that would hehehe HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[THE POWER CORE FROM THE TIME MACHINE IS GLITCHING OUT, CAUSING PETEY TO GLITCH OUT]

Butler: Uhh, what’s going on??

Petey: *remembers* OH YEAH!!! Well to persuade you into liking me, I will show you this secret image to decode the image!

[SHOWS A PICTURE SAYING “PETEY IS THE BEST’, MUCH TO BUTLER’S ANGER. CUTS TO DOGMAN THROWING UP IN THE BATHROOM]

Chief: Hey Dogman are you okay?

Dogman: Ruff RUFF Ru-*vomits even more*

Chief: *Gets vomit all on his shirt* GET OUT DOGMAN!!!

Dogman: Yip! *Vomits more, going to Sarah Hatoff’s new team*

Sarah Hatoff: What can we report on?

Chloe: Maybe the thing that happened today?

Sarah Hatoff: And what’s that?

Charles: A squirrel is in a tree.

Sarah Hatoff: Nope, there is just nothing going-*gets cut off by Dogman’s vomiting*

Charles: What happened down there?

Victor: Fine I’ll go down and call the biohazard crew.

[CUTS TO DOGMAN THROWING UP]

Victor: HEY, THE MUTT IS THROWING UP. I’ll get you a glass of water, Okay Doggie?

Dogman: YEAH YEAH!

Victor: Okay see you!

[CUTS BACK TO PETEY IN HIS LAB]

Petey: And then I asked myself, was the real orb the friends we made along the way?

Butler: So do I get the job?

Petey: OH YEAH, MY SHOW TUNE ROBOTS WILL ANNOUNCE IT TO YOU!!

Show tune Robots 2,3,4: *In Unison* DO A SHOU WA SHOUP A DOUP A DOUP DOUP LOOP!

Show tune Robot 1: You have applied for this good job!

Show tune Robots 2,3,4: *In Unison* You have applied for it!

Show Tune Robot 1: So now we will tell you if you MMMMAAADDDEEEE IIIIITTTT!

Show Tune Robots 1,2,3,4: *In Unison* YOU ARE GOING TO GET THE JOB OR NOT, IF YOU REALLY SUCK!

Show Tune Robots 1,2,3,4: *In Unison* SO NOW YOU WILL SEE WHAT YOU GET, AND IF YOU GET IT YOU ARE PRETTY COOL! HERE ARE YOUR RESULTS!

[ROBOTS TAP DANCE]

Show tune Robots 1,2,3,4: *In Unison* YOU ARE-*Get unplugged by Butler*

Butler: Cut to the chase!

Petey: You're fired because you don’t meet my standards.

Butler: Well then, you can have my used Hypno Gum.

Petey: Wait, HYPNO GUM!

Butler: This Gum allows you to mind control anyone to obey you, one of Scum Co’s highest selling inventions.

Petey: GIVE ME A STICK!

Butler: Uhh okay?

Petey: If I boil this gum, evaporate it, and put it in this air gun. I CAN TAKE OVER OKHAY VI-and she left.

[CUTS TO CHIEF IN HIS OFFICE]

Chief: What’s up?

“Police Officer”: THERE’S AN ATTACK AT THE NEWS STATION!

Chief: Where?

“Police Officer”: AT THE NEWS STATION YOU NIMROD!!!

Chief: LETS GO SAVE THE DAY!!!

Petey: And the final drop of Gum will go into these air fresheners! *Petey sprays the cars* HEHE!

Chief: Come in the car *The cops get in the cars and are hypnotized* MUST OBEY PETEY!

[ALL COPS DESTROY THE POLICE STATION]

Petey: HEHEHA!

[CUTS TO DOGMAN RESTING IN BED, BEING TAKEN CAR BY VICTOR]

Victor: So would you like the normal pills or the blue skittle pills?

Dogman: Bleh!

Charles: UHH SARAH?

Sarah Hatoff: What?

Charles: Police Officers are destroying the police station under Petey’s order!

Chloe: OKAY LETS GO REPORT ON IT!

Victor: Okay, you take care Dogman!

[THE NEWS TEAM GO INTO THE VAN, BUT ARE MIND CONTROLLED]

News team: MUST OBEY PETEY!

Petey: HEHEHA!!! THIS IS PERFECT!!!! NOTHING CAN THROW THIS OFF COURSE!

Victor: What do we do boss?

Petey: Attack Dogman!

Victor: Okay, MUST ATTACK DOGMAN.

Dogman: *Growls then barks, biting Victor’s arm*

Victor: MUST OBE-GET OFF MY ARM!!!!!!!

Dogman: *Starts getting quizzy, Vomits in his mouth and licks Victor out of fear* ROOOO!!!!!

Victor: Dude what the heck, Now I have vomit on my sweater! Not even with Mom’s spaghetti!

Dogman: Ruff!

Victor: Oh so I got brain washed?

Dogman: Yeah!

Victor: And Vomit plus your tongue = antidote?

Dogman: YEAH!

Victor: Okay, NOW VOMIT!

Dogman: *doesn’t vomit* Bark?

Victor: Oh crap. We need to find something that will make you vomit!

Dogman: *remembers eating Moldy Pizza* BARK! *Pointing at trash can*

Victor: I will get you a trashcan!

[VICTOR RUNS QUICKLY]

Police Officer: MUST OBEY PETEY!

Sarah Hatoff: MUST OBEY PETEY!

Robber 2: MUST OBEY BO-I MEAN PETEY!

Robber 1: MUST OBEY PETEY!

Victor: GET AWAY FROM ME!! *Punches them all, and throws a trash can, eventually getting a moldy slice of Pizza*

[VICTOR QUICKLY RUNS TO THE NEWS STATION]

Announcer: THE FOLLOWING SCENE IS EXTREMELY GROSS! SO WE WILL PRESENT IT IN FLIP O RAMA!

Announcer: FIND THE CAUSE! *Victor throws a moldy pizza to Dogman*

Announcer: CREATE THE ANTI DOTE! *Dogman eats the moldy pizza and vomits*

Announcer: COLLECT THE ANTI DOTE! *Dogman licks the vomit off the floor*

[CUTS TO A MONTAGE OF DOGMAN GOING AROUND THE CITY, SAVING EVERYONE FROM THE MIND CONTROL]

Sarah Hatoff: *After being Licked* Thank you Dogman!

Chief: *After being Licked* DOGMAN!!

Mason Yale: *After being Licked* What the heck happened?

Mayor: *After being Licked* Beats me, another day another day of A.R.F.G.U.S funds being wasted.

Petey: *After being Licked* HEY I’M NOT BRAINWASHED!

Dogman: YEAH! *handcuffs Petey*

Petey: RATS!

[EVERYONE CHEERING FOR DOGMAN]

Chief: Well looks like you saved the day once again!

Dogman: Ruff!

Chief: Although next time, find a way not to throw up!

Dogman: BARK!

[CUTS TO A WRECKED FUTURE,WHERE IT’S THE YEAR 2042]

Mysterious guy: Ever since Flippy’s conquest began, I have wanted revenge.

Mysterious guy: He killed my family, and only a few people are still alive. My team lacks the skills required to end him once and for all, I need a highly intelligent and advanced inventor. One that’s not Petey

Mysterious Stranger: We are running out of time, our saviour better arrive sooner than later.

[CUTS TO CREDITS]

[CUTS TO POST CREDIT SCENE]

Victor: This is Victor Quartz reporting from Cat Jail to interview your favourite lab rat/egotistical cat. PETEY!!!

[CUTS TO PETEY IN HIS CELLS]

Victor: So how did your scheme work?

Petey: Ask me or insult me something again and your family will be my next indirect victims.

Victor: Well, I never had siblings and my parents divorced when I was six. My dad fled to Australia to avoid paying my mom child support and died after being kicked too hard by a kangaroo. My Mom owed a mob fourteen dollars and didn’t pay it, so let’s just say they use her head as a soccer ball now, literally!

Petey: You sound like you need therapy, not interviewing me!

[END OF POST CREDITS SCENE]

[END OF EPISODE]