[A 70’S TALK SHOW INSPIRED INTRO BEGINS, WITH IT PROMOTING A LATE NIGHT TALK SHOW STARING SPEAKERBOX]
SpeakerBox: Hello there, I am your host Samuel Boxx, also known as SpeakerBox. Today marks twenty years since my show first went on the air, I started from the bottom and managed to go from Number 27 to Number 562 in the ranks! But today, I have two special guests, who will hopefully give me a good show.
Rat Guy: Thank you, glad to be on the show! Tell me, what makes me the special guest star.
SpeakerBox: Come on, you are so unspecial I don’t need to say anything to insult you. You literally got rejected from being a reporter!
Rat Guy: Well I have many hidden talents! I would have been so good if you didn’t reject me.
SpeakerBox: I didn’t know non-existent talents was a skill people had.
Rat Guy: I AM TIRED OF THIS, YOU INVITED ME ONTO THE SHOW SO I COULD BRING BACK YOUR EMPLOYEES!
SpeakerBox: Why YES, to do math.
Rat Guy: Okay, what’s the question?
[BOB COMES ON STAGE]
SpeakerBox: Bob, tell this Rat the trivia!
Bob: Well, if SpeakerBox had 1000 bottles of lotion, a wipe, and a laptop, and I use 19 of the lotion bottles to break the laptop, how many square roots is the talking mountain goat of Switzerland at?
Rat Guy: What?
SpeakerBox: CORRECT! IT’S A BOY!
Rat Guy: Are you sure the AI made the questions right-
SpeakerBox: *Runs up to the face of Rat Guy* You don’t say that, otherwise those dirty horses will kill me on social media, if you say that again I will cut off all your fingers and feed them to the DOGS! Got it?
Rat Guy: *Gulp* It can't be that bad.
SpeakerBox: Our cameraman Dorian made AI videos and was never seen again. That's why Roscoe was even hired.
Roscoe: Hi there!
Rat Guy: Uhh, hey?
SpeakerBox: Okay, give me some wise advice to inspire the audience to follow their dreams!
Rat Guy: Well, Life goes on and on-
SpeakerBox: Which is the problem.
Rat Guy: So what you should do is roll with the punches-
SpeakerBox: AND ROLL DOWN SOME HILLS!
Rat Guy: Shut up, and when life gives you lemons-
SpeakerBox: Don’t make lemonade, just eat the lemon RAW!
SpeakerBox: CAN YOU JUST SHUT UP-
[SPEAKING WITH BOX WILL BE BACK AFTER AN AD]
Ad Guy: Have you had persistent headaches? Brain farts? Or just feel dumb? Well fret not for our sponsor:
[PUTS A BOTTLES OF PILLS ON THE TABLE]
Ad Guy: Swalloin, a pill made out of Minerals, Pills, Jeff, Carbs, and Dog Treats.
Once you eat it you-*Feed cuts out, cuts back to the talk show*
SpeakerBox: And I was like “How is my ID from 1987 outdated? I am the same person” I mean I had my head replaced with a Speaker but still! Isn’t that right Theo?
Rat Guy: *Screams muffled by tape*
SpeakerBox: And now we will do a Detective Mystery! Bob, grab me Mr. Blasty!
Bob: Here you go sir.
SpeakerBox: Thank you!
[SHOOTS RAT GUY IN HIS WOUND SIX TIMES BEFORE RELOADING AND SHOOTING HIM SIX MORE TIMES]
SpeakerBox: MY MY! WHO KILLED THEODORE!
Bob: I have no clue, let's look for clues.
SpeakerBox: Maybe you did so Bob?
Bob: I have no clue what your talking about?
SpeakerBox: Explain why YOU just gave me a gun that was used to shoot Rat Guy two seconds ago?
Bob: You shot Rat Guy!
SpeakerBox: I don't know who shot anyone! I don't even know who shot Mr. Burns!
Bob: It was-*Gets shot by SpeakerBox*
SpeakerBox: OH NO! BOB GOT KILLED AS WELL!
Roscoe: EVERYONE THROW TOMATOES AT THIS MURDER!
Audience: BOO! BOO! BOO! BOO! BOO! *Throwing Tomatoes*
SpeakerBox: Wait to go RAT GUY!
Rat Guy: When is the next special guest coming.
SpeakerBox: Yep, you heard Rattatatataling right, we have our new guest: Sarah Hatoff!
Sarah Hatoff: *Bursts through door holding Walt Disney's corpse* NO THIS IS SERIOUS!
SpeakerBox: You sure? You are a woman! Why should I take you seriously?
Sarah Hatoff: Because you know the thing Victor was talking about?
SpeakerBox: The guy is orange PJ’s?
Sarah Hatoff: NO, selling us out to Walt Disney.
SpeakerBox: NO ONE CARES! Disney is boring, just fool around and do another game. Otherwise I will steal your money?
Sarah Hatoff: WHAT?
SpeakerBox: Yeah, like that one time you broke into my house demanding for YOUR money, it was MY money.
Sarah Hatoff: BECAUSE YOU DRAINED MY BANK ACCOUNT!
SpeakerBox: Nope, you BROKE INTO MY HOUSE AND PUT TO BROKE IN BROKE IN INTO MY WALLET.
Sarah Hatoff: Jeezh, I’m sorry-
SpeakerBox: NOPE! Give me the person you are talking about.
Sarah Hatoff: Uhh-
SpeakerBox: BACK TO COMMERCIALS.
Cameraman: We lost the feed for the commercial.
SpeakerBox: FINE, then bring on a Zombie.
“””Zombie”””: Uggh.
Sarah Hatoff: THAT’S HIM!
SpeakerBox: So, Walt Disney. What do you think about your company's failure?
“””Zombie”””: Uggh-I think it’s BULLHORSE! YOU GUYS DON'T KNOW WHAT REAL ENTERTAINMENT IS! THAT BLUE SWEATERED RUINED MY EMPIRE AND HE WAS DUMB ENOUGH TO WILLING RUIN YOURS! *Rips open his chest to reveal a bomb*
Rat Guy: *Rips open tape* IT’S A BOMB-*gets sucked up in a whirlpool of Physchokinetic energy*
WALT 6000: Yes, I know my Physchokinetic knowledge, thanks to TheCat at the Cult!
Sarah Hatoff: RUN SPEAKER! *Gets sucked up*
SpeakerBox: Crud, I need to run! Maybe I can call the COPS! *Gets sucked up along with WALT 6000*
[BOB AND ROSCOE LOOK AT THE CARNAGE THAT JUST UNFOLDED]
Bob: Uhh, what just happend?
Roscoe: I guess we got to find out for ourselves and save the contury.
[CUTS TO VICTOR]
Victor: Uggh, where did I go? Is that my childhood house?
[END OF EPISODE]