Dog Man Wiki

[A PERSON RINGS THE DOOR BELL]

Chloe: Who is it?

[IT IS REVEALED TO BE SPEAKERBOX]

SpeakerBox: Well hello there Ms Kapow. Let me just sit down and talk.

Charles: Rude?

SpeakerBox: What has happened to you?

Charles: I witnessed Victor commit crimes.

Chloe: Victor forced me to commit crimes.

Sarah Hatoff: Victor is a crime against humanity.

Victor: I made a pact with what is basically the devil to not make people call me quirky.

SpeakerBox: Sorry what?

Victor: Yeah, after cutting and biting my arm, I was approached by that red-eyed guy who looks like he came from a Stanley Kubrick film, he said I would send all you guys to work for him while I’m not called quirky and to give him his rotting corpse.

Rat Guy: Oh lord.

SpeakerBox: Let’s keep on keeping on in this conversation, until one or two of you disappear!

Rat Guy: PHYSCHOKINETIC BOMB!

[RAT GUY THROWS THE BOMB AT CHLOE AND CHARLES, CAUSING THEM TO DISAPPEAR]

Sarah Hatoff: What? You have one of those?

Rat Guy: Me and Walt go WAY back.

Victor: Does it matter? They were the two most unpopular characters.

Sarah Hatoff: Okay, we go to the grocery store while SpeakerBox stays here.

SpeakerBox: But the status report-

Sarah Hatoff: You literally have a Speaker for a head, you're not coming.

[VICTOR AND SARAH HATOFF HOP IN THE NEWS VAN]

SpeakerBox: Well who can I talk to?

Rat Guy: Me!

SpeakerBox: Theodore?

Rat Guy: Theodore Ratling, you rejected me.

SpeakerBox: THAT WAS 7 YEARS AGO!

Rat Guy: Oh but my life has gone downhill so much it’s not even FUNNY!

SpeakerBox: I'm listening

[CUTS TO SARAH HATOFF AND VICTOR IN THE VAN]

Victor: Turn on the radio.

[SARAH TURNS ON RADIO]

Radio: DO YA REALLY WANNA DO YA REALLY WANNA TASTE IT.

[VICTOR STARTS TO BREAK OUT INTO DANCE WHILE THE SONG PLAYS]

Sarah Hatoff: What the hecklebeckle? Why are you doing that? I’M LOSING GROUND!

Victor: Throw your dog the invisible bone-*the van goes off course, rolls down a hill, crashes into a tree that crushes the van, that lights on fire, and gets sawed in half by a man in a hockey mask*

Sarah Hatoff: What was that for?

Victor: I don’t know, I thought it was funny.

Sarah Hatoff: Well we are at the store so we have nothing to worry about.

[CUTS BACK TO SPEAKERBOX AND RAT GUY TALKING]

Rat Guy: I always wanted to be famous you see, but I got rejected by everyone, including you SpeakerBox!

SpeakerBox: What? Were the interview mikes broken again?

Rat Guy: THE POINT BEING! I looked up to you when I was young, yet I felt hurt getting rejected not because my dreams were killed, but because my Idol made me feel like a piece of doo!

SpeakerBox: Whatever you say

Rat Guy: So I became the Rat Guy, friend of my favourite animal and watched your shows, getting updates about the WALT 6000 and LANDY 6000 Hard drive!

SpeakerBox: It took us a year and half to find it, you watched it all, also WHY?!?! What would Walt Disney do for you?

Rat Guy: I knew him, I worked at Disney while you were off doing whatever you were. I met him behind the scenes and we had a lot in common: Both incredible talents washed away by ignorant people. That's why I was anticipating the Hard Drives return. I only came to inact his orders, but I will Hault all the orders IF you have me on your show!

SpeakerBox: Fine, I will.

Rat Guy: *Doing a creepy smile* Good.

[CUTS TO VICTOR AND SARAH HATOFF IN THE SUPER MARKET]

Victor: What, this is just a warehouse with cult members?

[THE CULT MEMBERS POSE IN THEIR DISNEY THEMED HOODIES]

Cult Guy 1: We are!

Cult Guy 2: THE WALT DISNEY GANGLANG!

Cult Guy 1: We say Lang instead of Bang!

[CUTS TO MULTIPLE MEMBERS DOING CULT STUFF]

Cult Guy 2: This cult is lead by Walt Disney

[SHOWS A WALL MOUNT OF WALT 6000]

Cult Guy 1: We are going to do the best ritual of all time.

[SARAH FORCEFULLY TAKES OFF THE HOOD OF THE CULT GUY]

Sarah Hatoff: Petey?

Petey: In the furt!

Victor: Aren’t you supposed to be dead?

Petey: Yeah, but this cult is fun to attend. Give me something to look forward to.

Sarah Hatoff: What were you doing before the cult?

Petey: I watch as a hybrid with the iq of a box of rocks sniff the butthole of your dog.

Sarah Hatoff: You are one of those guys who gossips a lot, let me guess.

[THE WALL MOUNT ACTIVATES]

WALT 6000: Hello, we are going to inact the ritual to give me a body.

Victor: How so?

WALT 6000: With the corpse you gave me, I need to entertain with a body instead of just being an AI.

[THE CORPSE GETS STRAPPED DOWN WITH WALT 6000 CUTTING A HOLE IN THE MIDDLE AND THE WALL MOUNT TRYING TO IMPLANT ITSELF INTO THE CORPSE]

Victor: Crap, I didn't think that would happen! SARAH HATOFF STOP HIM!

WALT 6000: She's a hack I WILL NEVER STOP, Smiley Cat, implant me!

Big Jim: OKAY!

[VICTOR JMPS AND KICKS AWAY WALT 6000, KNOCKING HIM OUT]

Victor: YES I DID-

Petey: Physcokinetic Bomb *Throws it at Victor, telaporting him away*

Sarah Hatoff: Well I guess Victor is gone

Petey: And WALT is knocked out, great going HATOFF!

[THE CULT WALKS OUT, SARAH CONFUSED BEFORE NOTICING THE WALL MOUNT RANDOMLY FALLING INTO THE CORPSE]

Sarah Hatoff: What happened to the corpse?

Walt's Corpse: GRUAH!

[END OF EPISODE]